Numb

April 14, 2019

If you're reading this...  Why the f' are you reading this?  Seriously, let me know.  I'm curious.

 

With everything going on these days, everything to worry about, all the absolute cat-shit to unpack and deal with on a constant basis, not to mention just the day-to-day struggle of supporting my family, I've reached a point of overload.  An introvert by nature anyhow, I feel myself retreating inward even further.  So far in fact that the outside world doesn't feel real at all.  So far in fact that I often wonder if I'm living in a dream or some elaborate alternate reality.  Nothing seems tangible anymore.  Nothing seems substantial.

 

I'm not hurt.  I've known deep depression in my life and I'm not now experiencing that kind of pain or deep gnawing sadness.  The fact of the matter is, I don't really feel much of anything anymore.  Rather my current state of being is simply a pervasive numbness of emotion.

 

On the writing front, I am indeed working on another book.  There are times on my job where I have a significant amount of downtime - when I'm not with a patent - and that's how I choose fill it.  Meanwhile, look for Harvest on July 4th.

 

If you've read down this far, you're more interested in my life than I am.  Kudos maybe?

 

Cheers, motherf'ers!

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